"Each of us is affected in a negative way by something each day. One of the greatest challenges of life is to have both the wisdom to recognize those sources of negatively, and the courage to cast them aside, if necessary." - Jim Rohn, The Seasons of Life
This past week I read a post titled "30 Things to Stop Doing To Yourself."
It inspired me. It inspired me because it challenged me, by reading it, to really start to look at myself, my actions and behaviours, and my thoughts and, in all honesty, call myself out on the things I've been doing lately that are harming myself or other people.
I'm not necessarily talking about things that harm me or others physically (though I'm sure that there are long-term physical effects to things like holding grudges or acting like everything is fine when it actually isn't), but more about the things that hurt me emotionally or spiritually (when I say "spiritually" I'm really talking about being connected to something that is bigger than I am). Things that are holding me back from being the best version of myself.
It forced me to start to be more aware about my self-talk. It made me realize that sometimes I can play the victim (both at work and at home). It made me realize that sometimes I put my happiness in the hands of other people and, as a result, have been losing myself in the process. It made me understand just how powerful perspective is when it comes to personal growth and happiness.
It reminded me about the story of the two wolves.
It challenged me to really look at my behaviours and determine what it is that I need to work on right now. What are the negative things I'm doing, thinking or saying that, if I don't take action, have the potential to make me a very unhappy person?
So I thought about it. I wrote about it and now...I'm going to share it.
Here's a short list of some of the actual things that I've been struggling with lately. I'm sharing them because, like the post said, we all need to stop pretending like things are fine when they're not. =)
I'm a better person at work than I am at home most of the time these days - I think this has a lot to do with my ability to manage and control my day at work. I have control over the work I do, the meetings I have, how productive I am, and all of that. At home though, life is chaotic. It's chaotic because we have a two year old son, I feel like I have less control, and I'm still trying to figure out this whole being a good dad AND a good partner thing...
I put a lot of my own self worth in the hands of others - I always have. I've always been concerned with what people think about me, whether or not they like me, and how I can make them happy. In some ways, my happiness is in the hands of others. Sometimes that's not a bad thing though. Sometimes it works. Helping others helps me. But other times, I can become so concerned with why someone might be upset with me that I let it take over my thoughts and my actions.
Sometimes I feel fake - Sometimes I feel fake when I'm giving advice on personal development or about how we, as young people, can change the world. It's not because I don't believe the advice I give or the things I say, rather, it's because sometimes I don't do it. Sometimes I just need a break from trying to present myself as strong and confident. Sometimes I'm not.
That's me. That's what I'm dealing with right now. I'm putting it out here because I want to be accountable. I want to change these things about myself.
What about you? What are the things you're doing right now that you need to stop?
It's been emotional,
Matt Tod is an international speaker, leadership facilitator, writer and lover of all things Zombie-related.